You Don’t Have to Suffer
This is the fourth installment in our five-part series on insights from Buddhist psychology.
In our everyday lives, it may seem as though we often experience suffering:
We experience it when we get sick…
We experience it when we’re short on finances…
We experience it when we notice the aging of our bodies;
However, according to the teachings of Gautama Buddha, there is a distinct differentiation between pain and suffering. Furthermore, his teachings state that there is way a to escape the burden of suffering so we can live peacefully during our time on Earth.
Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.
Pain is nothing but an intense sensation. Yet, do not justify or encourage pain. If pain comes, know that it has come due to some karma, that's it, move on.
—Ravi Shankar
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According to Buddhist teachings, suffering is an optional side-product of pain, and results from a resistance to the natural flow of Life. Suffering is created by the mind when we latch onto experiences that we perceive as pleasant, or avoid experiences that we perceive as painful. Modern psychology calls this hedonic adaptation.
However, life's experiences, in their essence, are neither good nor bad—they simply Are. Through the lens of compassion, we can gently acknowledge:
Sickness is a natural part of our journey;
The money we value often ebbs and flows;
The youth we cherish will gradually fade, and eventually, we will all face the reality of our own mortality.
These topics often aren’t easy to talk about, and it’s natural to feel discomfort or even to shy away from them because of their stigmatization in Western cultures. Yet, when we bravely embrace the impermanence and neutrality of life, we open ourselves to a profound appreciation for each passing moment.
In other words, as we come to terms with life’s painful truths, we liberate ourselves from the burden of suffering.
"It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live." —Marcus Aurelius
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The key here is acceptance of the present moment.
By immersing ourselves in the here-and-now and accepting life as it is, temporary experiences no longer dictate our inner state of being. We learn to accept whatever life offers with ease and grace.
This acceptance doesn’t mean we become numb or passive — in fact, it’s quite the opposite. By embracing life as it is, we release our mental and physical tensions, open the sensitivity of our nervous systems, and feel more deeply than ever before. Each new experience then heightens our awareness, makes our skin tingle with delight, and reveals the Beauty and Perfection of the world around us.
With this heightened level of awareness, we also become able to respond to the world as we see fit. We become more responsible.
The challenges of life, furthermore, transform into opportunities for adventure and growth, beckoning us to expand beyond our comfort zones and discover our capacities for strength and resilience. Pain and challenge are then no longer intrusive, but rather inevitable aspects of life that can uplift us.
"The moment you accept what troubles you've been given, the door will open."
—Rumi
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Paradoxically, this process of letting go and accepting involves a retraining of the mind and body through intentional daily practice:
It involves reflecting on our past;
It involves understanding the patterns and habits we hold;
It involves creating a structured action plan to transform those habits into ones that support a flourishing life for ourselves.
The teachings of Buddhism offer a solution to cultivating these habits, which correspond perfectly with modern psychological findings and various schools of psychotherapy.
Gautama Buddha taught that we can solidify peaceful lives by living morally and virtuously. This is done through what he called the Eightfold Path, a guideline that promotes:
Clear understanding
Purposeful intention
Conscious communication
Ethical action
Meaningful livelihood
Diligent effort
Mindful awareness
Focused concentration
This Eightfold Path offers a wonderful baseline for cultivating courage and building lives aligned with our most inspired desires, regardless of circumstances. However, it's important to keep in mind that this is simply a sample model.
Each of us has the responsibility to look deep within, discover our innermost desires, and develop our own unique systems of morals and values. Just as the Buddhist Eightfold Path provides structure, each of us can craft a personal path that reflects our individual code. This grounding and structure further helps form us into sturdy, solid, and unshakable individuals.
With this sense of inner security, we can break free from the mind’s cycle of suffering, joyfully navigate the waves of life, and consciously choose our own destinies.
This is what it means to truly Live.
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May you feel fully and deeply, embracing the ups and downs of life with equanimity.
Max Kristopher Komes
www.MaxKomes.com
Max Komes is a Masters-level Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern offering supervised in-person counseling services in Pensacola, Florida, as well as statewide.
Meet the other truth-seekers and free-thinkers at the Clarity Culture — www.ClaritySanctuary.org.
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This writing is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. If you have imminent health concerns, please call 1-800-NAMI.
