Crafting an Inner Monologue of Empowerment
Our brains have evolutionarily unfolded over the course millions of years, with major developments occurring over the last few hundred thousand years.
That being said, we still haven’t quite worked out all of the kinks…
To this day, our brains are majorly programmed with the fear-based responses of our early ancestors…
Psychology calls our propensity to respond in fear negativity bias, and it has leaked into our modern families and societies in the forms of anxieties, depressions, and addictions.
Fortunately, this doesn’t have to be the case forever.
In their evolutionary unfolding, our brains have also developed the cortex — the executive control center of the brain which allows us to be present, plan, organize, and overall, take control.
Knowing this, we also know that we can train our executive functioning skills similar to a muscle. So, we must now train ourselves to be in the drivers seat of our brains, taking the reins of thought and emotion, and guiding them towards an Ideal Destiny.
Here’s a step-by-step process to recognizing emotional reactions, releasing old narratives that surround them, and moving forward with a unique, empowering narrative of your choosing…
When an emotional reaction occurs, engage in this healthy inner monologue…
Noting: “I notice this reaction and thoughts from past programming. I am mindful.”
Distancing: “This is simply a temporary reaction. It does not define me. I am much more than this.”
Compassionate Understanding: “I understand why this reaction arises… it protected me in the past...I am growing.”
Allow the compassionate understanding to neutralize the initial reaction.
In the words of the peaceful Thich Nhat Hanh:
"We can practice loving our own suffering just as we love the joy and happiness in our lives. We can hold our suffering with tenderness and compassion, like a mother holding her baby."
From this understanding, we can:
Mindfully notice the space of Stillness underneath the reactions: “I notice a sense of Peace when I let go of the past.”
Replace old inner monologue / Create a new narrative based on one’s own values and Ideals: “I choose to live in Connection, Love, Truth, Beauty, Prosperity, and Fulfillment.”
In the words of Br. David Steindl-Rast:
"Gratefulness is a way of being that moves us from counting our blessings to living gratefully. It’s like the traffic signs: Stop. Look. Go. You stop so that you can be present. You look to appreciate the beauty and the opportunity. And you go forward to act and express your gratitude."
Perhaps paradoxically, we actually become the drivers of our brains and bodies when we surrender to the present moment, harnessing those skills of Inner Stillness and Awakeness, releasing old tensions, and truly creating from a place of Wholeness and growth mindset.
Then, we can truly take the reins of thought and emotion, and move towards our Ideal Destiny.
After all,
“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”
—Buckminster Fuller
Wishing you the best, always.
Max Kristopher Komes
www.MaxKomes.com
Max Komes is a Masters-level Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern offering supervised in-person counseling services in Pensacola, Florida, as well as statewide.
Join the Clarity Culture — a community of like minds at www.ClaritySanctuary.org
This writing is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. If you have imminent health concerns, please call 1-800-NAMI.
