Taming Our Demons

It is said that in a kingdom long ago, a powerful king left his palace to attend to important duties. While he was away, a tiny demon snuck into his throne room and made itself at home…

When the king’s royal servants discovered the demon, they were horrified. They tried to drive it out by yelling at it, attacking it, and insulting it.

The demon, however, seemed to be fueled by their hostility…

The more the king’s men reacted with anger and aggression, the bigger, scarier, and more powerful the once-tiny demon became.

When the king returned, he was surprised to find the massive demon looming over his throne. Unlike his servants, he approached it with calmness and care. He welcomed the demon, offering it water and food, treating it as an honored guest in his palace.

To the astonishment of the king’s men, the demon began to shrink—starved of the hostility that once made it grow. The more kindness and compassion the king showed, the smaller the demon became, until it finally disappeared altogether…

“What we resist, persists.”

—Dr. Wayne Dyer

The story of the demon in the king’s palace is a classic Buddhist parable that dates back over 2,000 years, and there’s a reason it’s been passed down for such a long time — it's packed to the brim with psychological metaphors.

The story begins with the king leaving his palace for a brief period of time…

The king can be thought of as a symbol of our natural state of ground awareness. This state of being is observational, joyful, and when necessary, discriminative. These mindful qualities allow us to rule, govern, and safeguard the territory, easily deciphering between that which is harmful to the palace, and that which is helpful.

The palace that the king rules over symbolizes our mind. When the king is present—fully aware and engaged—everything functions harmoniously. The walls remain strong, the people are at peace, and the gardens thrive. The kingdom prospers.

However, when the king is absent—when we lose touch with mindful awareness—“demons” creep in.

These demons represent primal emotions that can feel intense or difficult to regulate…

Fear

Anger

Lust

Jealousy

Envy

Each of these emotions exists within us, yet they often go unacknowledged or are actively suppressed. Throughout history, cultures and religious traditions have personified these powerful emotions as "demons," treating them as external forces to be feared, rejected, or exorcised rather than understood.

When these emotions are ignored and denied in this way, they begin to make themselves at home in the deepest, most intimate part of our psyche: the throne room. There, they grow unchecked, subtly shaping our thoughts, behaviors, and character without us realizing it…

"Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."

—Gautama Buddha

Emotions like fear, anger, and lust are so deeply ingrained in us that we rarely even recognize them. They are primal drives rooted in protection and reproduction, which live in us as small seeds, sometimes growing into powerful forces. Often, we only notice them when they reach extremes, becoming unhelpful or even harmful to ourselves and others. Left unchecked, fear manifests as anxiety, anger as rage, and lust as compulsion, gradually weaving themselves into our personality itself.

Then, often in an unconscious effort to protect ourselves from facing the reality of our own pain, we tend to project these emotions onto the world…

“Other people are angry. I’m not angry.”

This is human nature…

We instinctively run from discomfort and cling to pleasure, and emotions are no exception. Yet, resisting these strong, primal emotions only intensifies our suffering.

In the story, the king’s servants are the representations of this resistance and suffering. They scream and fight against the demon, only feeding its power. In the same way, when we suppress or reject our emotions, they grow stronger, ruling us from the shadows.

In denying these emotions, we also deny our nature as deeply feeling human beings. Just like the demon in the story, these emotions are not something outside of us to be condemned, but inhabitants of our own inner palace. They are meant to be acknowledged, understood, and listened to…

"Compassionate curiosity about the self does not mean liking everything we find out about ourselves, only that we look at ourselves with the same nonjudgmental acceptance we would wish to accord anyone else who suffered and who needed help."

—Dr. Gabor Maté

Only when the proverbial king is present can we truly recognize, understand, and integrate our strongest, most primal emotions.

The king—our natural state of grounded awareness—brings mindfulness, curiosity, and compassion to whatever arises, easing suffering rather than fueling it. Whether we’re faced with anger from others or our own difficult emotions, we can choose to meet them with presence and understanding instead of resistance.

Practices like mindfulness, reflection, contemplation, and meditation help us to intentionally cultivate this state of presence. (Click here to learn how to practice and develop inner stillness).

With these practices, we begin to truly understand these more primal emotions. They are no longer seen as “demons,” but actually royal messengers carrying wisdom about our deepest needs, wounds, and desires. Instead of condemning them, we can meet them with gentle curiosity with questions like:

What are you trying to show me?

What do you need to feel at peace?

How can I express you without letting you take control?

Through this act of compassionate inquiry, we begin to uncover deeper truths….

Fear shows us our values and where we seek safety.

Anger reveals our boundaries and sense of justice.

Lust reflects our longing for connection and vitality.

Then, as we listen with genuine understanding, these emotions shrink, dissolving in the warmth of compassion and revealing their deeper wisdom. What once threatened to overtake our inner palace now serves us, restoring sanctity and allowing peace to radiate once more throughout the Kingdom.

(Click here for a brief guided meditation with Max.)

May we have the courage to look within, tame our demons, and fill every corner of the mind's inner palace with compassionate understanding.

Max Kristopher Komes
www.MaxKomes.com

Max Komes is a master’s-level mental health professional and author in Pensacola, Florida. His philosophy is that each and every individual holds wellsprings of wisdom within them, and with the right tools, can access this wisdom to live purposeful, healthy, and resilient lives.

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